An Open Letter to Sales Page People

ink jar and quills

ink jar and quills (Photo credit: studentofrhythm)

Dear Sales Page Owners and Designers,

You’re amazing. There are many of you, and apparently you all belong to a secret cabal. The design of your pages, your sales techniques, and even sometimes your “information” products seem startlingly similar. If you don’t belong to the same secret cabal, I imagine you must all take advice from the same experts. I like the secret cabal idea better. It confers some occult, elite status on your efforts that can only be attractive in a world that makes Dan Brown novels into movies.

One recent trend is the video sales presentation. Wow, you guys can talk! (and talk, and talk). Those things go on seemingly forever. Please do a search on “Elevator Pitch“. Once, I tried letting a video presentation run its full length just to see how long it was. Either it eventually looped back to the beginning while my attention was momentarily diverted, or there was no end.  No end, like a Twilight Zone episode plot device. “Once she pressed play, there was no. way. out.!” Auto run hell. I can of course simply close my browser window, which leads me to your other favorite trick stolen from 1997’s internet.

Yes, I’m talking about the “DON’T GO!” pop up. Yes, darlings, I am sure that I want to leave this page. For many of you, I am right in the middle of your target demographic . That little bit of beg text guarantees that I will never, ever buy anything from you under any circumstances. I flash back to the popup malware wars of the late 90s,and the horrors of early MySpace pages, while retinal ghosts of ancient GeoCities glitter text sear my eyeballs once more. You don’t have glitter text, do you? So why the horrible popups?

If your product is good, you can trust me to bookmark you and come back if I can’t buy right now. This is not a remake of Sweet Charity, and if it were, perhaps you might remember that things didn’t work out very well for Charity in the end  Be fun, classy, dignified– not desperate. I realize this means that you’ll have to leave the secret cabal and perhaps miss your chance to be an extra in the next Dan Brown movie. Alas, the sacrifices we make for our businesses!

Sincerely,

Me, not a customer (yet)

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2 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Sales Page People

  1. Ohhh, I can so relate to this 🙂 Thanks for speaking out! Why don’t they cut the crap and just give us the bottom line? If we’re interested, we’ll buy.

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